While freshman year can be overwhelming at times, it can also be really exciting. You get to meet new people, form new friendships, and maybe even start talking to a new crush. High school relationships are so much fun, but there is a lot to learn. Both teens and their parents need to be aware of the following:

What Parents Need To Know About High School Relationships: 

1. Your kids know more than you think. 

Waiting to have the talk will not shield them from learning about the birds and the bees on their own. 14-year-olds are talking about this at school when they don't think adults are listening. Trust me, I've heard freshmen say some wild things. 

2. They meet up in the hallways. 

Even if they don't have classes together, couples will find a way to see each other. It's very common for students to coordinate their bathroom breaks so that they can hang out in the middle of class. This also means that they're finding a way to message each other during class, or they're scheduling a particular time before class starts. 

3. They want to talk about it, and you have to open the dialogue. 

I've had students who tell their parents everything and students who tell their parents nothing. If your kid feels safe telling you about their relationships, they will tell you everything - and I mean everything. I once made the regrettable decision of telling a student they could only tell me what they would tell their parents and I quickly learned my lesson.

What Freshmen Need To Know About High School Relationships: 

1. Don't ask your teacher to sit you next to them. 

While plenty of relationships that begin freshman year last, not all of them do. And if you unfortunately break things off, you don't want to have to deal with the logistical nightmare of switching your seat. Instead, sit with a friend or another classmate if you can and visit your pookie during breaks or when you've finished your work. Your future self will thank you. Trust me, I almost made the mistake of sitting a couple next to each other and they broke up a few months later. Thank goodness I didn't give in to their request! 

2. Comparison is the thief of joy. 

When you start spending a lot of time with one person, it can be easy to start comparing yourself to them: their grades, their friends, their lifestyle. Don't lose sight of your own inherent value just because you see them succeeding. Unfortunately this is easier said than done, so make sure you have a great support system you can reach out to whenever you're feeling lesser-than. 

3. Don't lose your friends over them. 

If you really like your friends, but the new person you're talking to doesn't... This doesn't mean you have to let go of your friends. This might be a little bit controversial, but your person doesn't have to like your friends. Just make sure you do what is best for you. If you like hanging out with your friends, but your person doesn't, then find time to hang out with them WITHOUT your person. They don't need to be there. The best relationships are formed by two individuals who are secure enough in themselves to be okay spending time apart. If you're not okay spending time apart, there might be a different underlying issue that you could talk about with a trusted adult. 

High school relationships are tricky, but with open communication, you and your parents can navigate through anything! And if you're struggling to communicate with each other, that might be a sign to try 1:1 tutoring. I can help teens learn how to express their thoughts and feelings to their parents in a way that starts a conversation instead of a blow-out. 

Further Reading...